i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
