By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Randomize
