Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
