I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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