I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
