Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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