It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
That accounts for only three of the penises
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Randomize
