Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Randomize
