he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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