look no pants
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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