Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
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