I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
