Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
