Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
