I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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