I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Is Oprah even human
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
