yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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