her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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