You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
