Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
