Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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