I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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