He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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