I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
