she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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