This girl is more easily done than said...
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
