EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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