I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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