I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
