I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
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