im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I have aggressive nipples.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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