Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
so that wasnt chicken after all
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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