Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
