Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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