Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
