so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
