I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
