Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
