i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
