Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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