i always forget guys have bellybuttons
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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