Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
