it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
