when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
