Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
