We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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