I think I died a long time ago.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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