i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
