fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
