There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
he puts the penis in happiness.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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