So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
