You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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