no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
